months have passed. i wish that everything i tell to anyone i cherish find them well. im not much use to anyone nowadays, because a person of my disposition has no right to say whats best for them, i only hope that what words i say helps them in the decisions they make. we each have something we hold dear and hope that everything we do turns out well. it just our choices only effect us, and the results is a fact that we must accept. for the longest time, I've made choices where i didn't know would effect me later down the road, but now i know, i have started to think about what those choices will do to me and those around me down the road or later in the future. but it just means that those are possibilities, they might not happen the way it happened or it will happen the way it did. life is something we can expect to happen, the choices we make will dictate the outcomes of our decisions, either now or then or never, we don't know entirely for sure, we just know that it's a possibility.
Thursday, 25 March 2010
its been quite some time, since i was last here and wrote anything. on with it i suppose. for a while, things have gone to hell for me in some ways. though as a person, we endure. and i endured. to this day, i still endure, but it just sucks knowing the pains return someday, but it takes courage to confront those pains and overcome them. for the first time in a long time, ive confronted something i dared not speak of, well in this case was speak to someone. because i made a promise to her, a few promises to her. i vowed should that anything happen to her because of me, i would simply disappear, and not speak to her nor appear to her. i have done that up until just now. but this time was just to let her know something, and hopefully what i said finds her well, and i just hope everything for her goes smoothly. i was hooked but ive learned to let go now. i havent changed in a major way. i am who i am, just a little different than before. people change over time, and it will always happen, so i am glad to be who i am now. not regretting anything ive done, and only regret some of the past choices ive made, but those regrets have made me change about somethings i do. so ive let go those regrets and ive used those regrets to help me better myself in the now and for the future to come.....in hopes that i can fulfill my other promise to her, just to be close to her, as a friend who she can depend on should anything happen.
For the most part of my life, I have always doubted myself. I don't give myself any credit for anything that I've done. I personally don't care for myself, as I am always in constant pain of heart, but I only care for others and never myself. I am no different than any other guy, I have the same urges as most other guys, but I want to love someone with the most passion that I have for the one I truly Love.
The day you find happiness, is the day I lose all of what's left of my happiness. 6/16/09 was the day I remember the most. In that day I gave every bit of my happiness to you. 2 Months later, that happiness was left alone. Another 2 months passed, my happiness had withered to nothing more than a mere crumpled paper.
But the days after Thanksgiving, I still willingly gave whats left of me to you. Now I made a promise to you, to be a moments away, I have every intention to keep that promise. But will only come with the pride and honor as a man, but with no more happiness. I have nothing left. Shattered, torn and dying, I will still give myself to you, only to walk to my oblivion.
Call me emotional, call me stupid, or call me however you like. I devoted myself wholly to you already. But the decision is up to you and always will. Kill what's left of my happiness now and end every bit of it and I will assure you, you won't have to ever see me nor hear from me again. Disappearing into the darkness I came from.
There's not a single day Where I don't think about you Whenever I lay asleep I fall asleep thinking of you
There's a time Where I wish you were here With me in bed
I would turn my head And see your smile Feel the warmth of your hand On my cheek
As I lay up in the morning I would imagine you sleeping next to me Only to gaze upon the beauty that lays before me As I take the opportunity to give you a kiss
And as the days comes and goes You are always on my mind Staring up at the blazing blue sky Hoping and wishing you are doing well
Planning one day That I will be able to sleep with you That I will be there for you when you need me Making sure that your wish for me Comes true Making sure that my wish for you Comes true
i apologize for the late post on this.....4 years ago, 2 days after valentines day....my dad past away...so it takes me a while to get used to things around valentines day....makes it hard on me....so forgive me if this post was late and no title for it, but here it is my valentines day poem....every year for the past 7 years ive written poems for valentines day, and given them to people i care for the most, and given them to people who have someone they care for in a most special and loving way. and i help encourage and strengthen their relationships with poems such as this, sure that sounds like they themselves cant write poetry, but i give them hope, i help them believe in each other more.
Journey to the life I live everyday, a life unique in its own way. You say yours is normal, then so is mine, but then you say mine is special, then so is yours. It's the life full of many surprises.
rawrrrrrrrrrr i'm so bored. but hiii how are you? you should really stop being the convo killer on facebook. <3333 robyn
I'M EXCITED FORRRRRRR VDAY OF 09 :D:D:D:D ahahaha i wanna see what other poem you come up with they're soooooooooo freaking sweet ^^
i'm EXCITED FOR TOMORROW :D!!!
hahaha gooood i would disapprove if you lost any sleep :P
dropping by to say thx for the comment:) it really helped x]] <33 xox
ahaha you kno wut? i actually go on aim just as often now because aim works at school for me hehe but msn doesn't cuhs our stupid school blocked it. but i'm rly glad you got inspiration to write another poem again:)
heyhey just dropping by to show some love ^__^ <33 xox//
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